NANACARTER LAA.

Hello readers of im-so-sedap. Today's topic will be about...

It's just my opinions and shit, no need to make a big fuss out of this post alright. Anyways, for the past 3 years, I have been trying SO HARD to change my fucked up attitude. It's so fucked up that I feel like i'm cursed. And this morning, at around 2am till 4am, I talked to a friend of mine and he made me realise so many things. He proved that he was one of a kind. Eventhough he looks like a matrep, has tattoos, and smokes, he is a truly nice person. He is now removing his tattoos, and he dosen't drink. He dosen't go around fucking girls, and he dosen't do nonsense like other expected matreps/boys would. Instead, he makes up original and extremely funny jokes and yes, he made me laugh like CRAP because.. Mom didn't know I was using the phone and I didnt want her to know, so I had to whisper all along. Thank God he understood what I was talking all along. But in one of the things that we talked about, he made me laugh really hard and my sister almost woke up. We talked about FISHES. I'll elaborate about that later on. He himself had an issue changing, and I am too. Right now, I feel that I finally found the answers to all the questions. What I'm lack of, I know already. It's just ONE QUESTION that my friend ask me, which made me ask some more. That one question already tells me wether I'm going to heaven or hell. Past few days, weeks, months, I have been having conflicts with my friends BECAUSE of what I'm doing. For example, I scold this person FUCK. Then the consequenses cant be another person scold be back FUCK, instead it could be I fall sick, or I lost my keys to the house or something like that. Now I realise that even the smallest thing you do can affect your life. Or maybe afterlife? Haa. It's never too late to change. I'm taking this changing thing one step at a time. Slowly. Really slowly. I'm not gonna let others bring me down, because I know I'm strong. All this fights, etc, are all tests from God. Wether you are strong enough or not. I told myself, "dont say you want to change. show it." but it's hard lah. I take alot of time to change.
Here are the few things that I think I have changed in me.
- I dont swear much when I'm angry
- I talk nicely
- Wayyyyyyy polite than last time
There's more to come. Heh. Ok I'm tired of posting about changing lah! Change topic.
What are conflicts? Conflicts are some disagreements between a person and another person. Let's look at one of the situation example. It all started this way. Julia was disturbing Wan in class. Wan pointed middle finger to Farhan but intentionally, Wan wanted to point at Julia. Nina went to "pauto" to Julia and Julia wasn't happy. So after that, Julia asked Wan. Wan answered nicely. In school, Julia was making other people hate Wan and Julia dragged in all Wan's friend from being Wan's friend. Is this fair? Then Julia even called Wan a dog, a stupid dog, critisizing in class, asking another friend of Julia's to point middle finger to Wan. Wan only did 2 things, and Julia did like already too many to name. The next day, Julia and friends stare-stare at Wan. Not happy ah? I dont even care. Haaaaaaaaaaaiya. I just dont get it. You guys dont see your mistakes, instead point mine. Losers. WHAAATEVER. Hah.
K im lazy. Buka in like...... 4 hours time. WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO.
xoxo. deana.

I MISS AJIE KAWAN. bye.

Labels: buka, change, idk, puasa, what a bad lil girl i am