NANACARTER LAA.

Hello people, updates!
So, yesterday after school, I went to Tampines to meet bf.
He was so late, sad ):
He came with Doctor Dag! Haha. Went over to Lavender, bought somethings, and then eat.
I ate Beef Hor Fun, Bf ate BBQ Chicken Rice, Dag ate Mee Kuah. Heees^^V
I didn't finish my food, it was a lil bit suckyy, but still, thanks bf for the treat.
After which, Dag went to his training and went our own ways.
At night, met Apitt Brother (:
Walked around Tampines mall, bf bought a Superman Lighter Belt & 3 t-shirts.
1 from uniqlo and 2 from topman.
At last lah kan, bf ada baju baru baru nye colours.
Apitt wanted bf to belanja him, but our plan was to...
WATCH JENNIFER'S BODY (:
So he had not enough money, sad-ed.
Next month ye. Haaa.
Apitt asked me to _____________________________.
So I did, happy kan Apitt? Hahaha!
After shopping, headed to buy some snacks to munch while watching jennifer's body.
Nachos, Popcorn, Hotdog, Coke! Apitt makan hotdog macam telan instead seh. Haahahah.
Went in the movie theatre and watched Jennifer's body. Rating? To me it's around 4/5 stars.
Not that thrilling but alot of kissing scenes.
Reached home at around 12.45 midnight.
Damn, was I tired. Haahahaha. At least I had fun.

Now, Im awake. Bored like fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Had a tiff with sister yesterday, menyampuk sia.
I was talking to my mother, then she interrupted,
"Since the holidays are here, don't let her go out. Stay at home."
I was like, "Was I even talking to you?"
Whatever. Bitch.
I fucking swear i fucking want to go out.
Then what, 2 months, do nothing and rot at home. Are you mad?
I'm so going out on Thursday. Tampines, here I come.

I miss bf so effing much. I had a really bad dream, that he has an affair with Eleen.
I was like daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayum!
Woke up and cried. Called bf, and he laughed.
I really really don't want things to go wrong, baby.
): Traumatized betol aku ni.
Haiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaks.
& My wish is granted.
HEEHAWZ^^V
I know, public don't know.

Xoxo, Deana.
P/S: I loved my day with you both silly people. Hugs & Kisses.
I am using this computer secretly, and brother woke up.
Die ar die.

Labels: fuckmeeeeeeeee

Hello, hello!
Deana sudah malas nak lepak lah ):
I'll be a goodgirl from now onwards, okay.
Sudah taknak "ton", taknak buat kecoh-reboh di luar sana.
Pleeeeease la, I hope mommy changes her mind of going ~there~ on Friday.
I really don't want to go in there tau peoples.
And I sooooooo won't!
FYI, tak qualified lah aku nak masuk girls' home.
Tomorrow, I won't be going Japanese Garden for the walk-a-thon thingy because I am lazy.
It's been 3 days since Mr Anand came school. Whoa, peaceful baby (Y)
I hope he's on some holidays to relax his mind or something, haaaaa!
Why am I so happy? I don't know man, maybe it's because Mr Anand never come to school.
I really hope he doesn't attend school on Friday itself.
Then by then, I'd be enjoying my holidays forever, ever, ever.
Sekolah buka, dia sudah lupa^^
I hope.
Well maybe running away from my problem ain't going to help... Sighs.
Anyhoo, Epul told me something.

No one is worth your tears; and the one that's worth won't make u cry.

He told me that, because I shared with him about my boyfriend.
Yes, I cried. Even today in class, I almost cried.
I can't bear to lose boyfriend. Boyfriend sent me a message saying, "I cried because of you. I can't bear to lose you. I don't want you to go in. Please change for my sake." At least something like that.
Well love, for your information, I don't want to lose you either. Everyday, I keep reminding you.
I love you, never want to lose you. But still, there's this doubt in me that keeps my confidence running low.
Happy, sad, angry, happy, sad, angry. Those are my feelings everyday.
If i'm happy, it's because of a minor thing. I still have the sadness in me.
I smile, because I don't want people to know that I'm suffering deep inside.
If you guys go, "Abeh kau blog pasal kau sedih tu kenapa?",
I'll say, "Because this is my blog, where I can express my feelings."
Since my councellor, Mrs Alfred, is busy these days, I only have my blog and me, to think of whatever I have done.
I really don't want to go in there. Bashed up, lesbians maybe? I don't even want to look at the face of Aminah Khairah. That butch.
I'm happy living my life this way, I keep out of trouble, etc.
But problem is,
Whenever I start to change, people surrounding me start to bring up my past problems and make me very confused and ill.
Especially school's DM, Mr Anand. He brings me DOWN to the CORE. His words, is like a sharp blade cutting through my heart. Not only that, he is a phsycho. Seriously.
He told me once, that for not pinning up my frindge, I can get suspended for not potraying a good image of my school.
Then if that's the case, can I say, "If you teach me, and I never understand, can I sue you?"
Ridiculous.
I swear I hate my school's DM. Even if I sweet-talk him sometimes, to win his heart, I guess it's just a freaking waste of time. He doesn't realise the little bits that I do to change myself.
Because why, he wants things to go all perfectly.
Eh, you think I can change just like that in a snap, how you want it?
Hello, you've gotta give me time. Am I right, readers?
You bring me down like you're stepping on an ant, just by your words, do you know that?
Now THAT'S what's stopping me from changing.
It makes me think this way of myself,
"Oh, since Mr Anand thinks of me that way, I cannot change."
"Oh, I am too bad. Nobody will believe that I will change."
"Oh, I still don't understand the rules of JVS. I cannot be in school."
Those craps go into my mind, but I still have that little hope in me that...
I WILL CHANGE.
Even my own sister thinks I'm a minah rep.
You think you're SO PERFECT, girl?
Here I am trying to change, while everyone shoots the bullet on me.
So what if I'm a minah rep to you, it's your perception, not the others.
You ask me questions nicely, I answer your questions nicely.
You talk satsat with me, I talk satsat with you.
You speak rudely, I answer rudely.
Fair, ain't it?
You call me a minahrep, I show you one.
You call me a bitch, I show you one.
Countless times, my own blood sister calls me a bitch.
Tell me, readers, whoever of your sisters call you a bitch? Tell me!
Who's sister always tells you, "Perangai dah lah macam taik*. Do all those dirty stuffs at such a young age!" (attitude like shit*)
Good what, I do all this at a young age. Rather than I do it when I'm old like you.
I'd LEARN FROM MY LESSONS.
I'm a lady of my words. If I say I'll change, give me time.
Logically, if you call me a bitch, I'm no dog.
If you call me a minah rep, well that I cannot say anything ah.
I don't dress like one but I do kind of talk like one.
Okay, stop.

CHANGE TOPIC!
I'm chatting with Fais, a friend on msn. He's making my life easier now.
He told me that first offence of _____, usually they will give a warning.
Whoa, how relieved am I. I swear I won't do such things ever again!
Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, I'm so relieved.
Bye!
Xoxo, Deana.
P/S I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND \m/

Labels: amin

Labels: fuck me im famous

Labels: left to right

p.s i miss bf and his brother! ):

Labels: tampines on friday

Labels: i fucking love you

Met him yesterday at Tampines, went over to RC to lepak.
His dad saw him and me! Awwww~ I met his dad already.
Baby was so happy, hahaha. He was like, "Yay, papa dah jumpe you."
I was daaaamn shocked you know!
After that, he called brother, Apitt, to join us slack. So he said, he's coming down.
So Apitt, Nizam and Nizam's girlfriend came down to join us.
Apitt and Nizam were busy skating so me and baby talked.
After that, I accompanied him to the toilet, well of course he go his own way la.
When I came back alone (since baby needed to go to the toilet again), Apitt and Naz were skating.
Nizam went over to his friend's party to eat and have some fun.
I sat under the playground alone, waiting for baby's presence.
While waiting, I heard a few laughs. I didn't think much about it but when something happened,
I felt really uneasy. All I wanted to do was go home.
After that, when baby came back, he called me to sit with him.
I grabbed my things and went to him & told him whatever happened.
He told me to ignore negative thoughts and just relax.
After a few moments, there was a long conversation. This is how it goes.

Then she talked to my baby. What I heard was,

Busted.
Hahahaha. I had a helluva time with Naz, Apitt and Baby after that.
They were so so funny.
Elaborate more I shall, yeah?
So after which, they went off and left with Apitt, Baby, Naz and I.
First, we watched this Jackass video on Naz's hp. It was darn painful yet stupid.
Then Apitt randomly said that my voice's nice when I sang pokerface. Sounded just like that Lady Gaga. *kembang*
Then I asked Apitt,
The two skaters continued their skating and me and baby talked while listening to music and me, singing.
After that, when they were tired, baby bought epok-epok to eat. So cute.
Thanks eh, for the epok-epok and milk.
I bid goodbye to baby, as I was heading home together with Naz. Well, halfway la. Haha.
I'm feeling very comfortable being with baby and being like a little sister to Apitt.
And Naz, eventhough he's a new friend, he's nice enough to direct me to the interchange.
And he was daaaaaym funny. Clumsy tall man. Haha!
Naz also mentioned a few things,
1) "Imagine eh, aku tengah baring gini. Skali ada cloud datang... Then ada tangan amek kau. Beh grab kau macam gini *shows action*. Pastu pergi lain dimension.*Starts doing some funny sound effects*"
2) "Eh kacang sikit. Tak, aku taknak yang ini. Aku nak yang besar-besar punya."
LOL. I was laughing like crap sia.
On the bus also, I said, "Eh imagine eh, kalau ada pontianak datang sebelah kau.. Zoom."
He was like, "Eh taknak seh."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. After that we started to complain about how slow the bus went.
The bus was going to the interchange, I was blur. I pressed the bell.
"Eh jangan lah!" - Naz said.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Deana kental sia.
Dah tentu bus nak pergi interchange, abeh dia picit bell. Hahahaha. Sot ah sot.
Went off our own ways, and head home.

A looong way home tau. There's this banglah who looked at me in such a way. I shouted,
"Apa sia tengok orang macam tak pernah tengok orang."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Lucky that banglah left at Jurong East Interchange. If not... I'd already bash him up.

That's all for yesterday. Today, I'll just stay at home and miss my baby.
Xoxo, Deana.
P/S: Heh. I love him so much.

Labels: life has its ups and downs

Why in the world are you so upset today?
I know I called you a dozen of times.
You didn't answer, hmm.
When I called Syahir Adik, he said you're upset because your mum nag about you always going out everyday to Jurong.
I understand baby. But one day of not meeting me or brother loves won't kill, right?
Hmm. I hate it when you're so upset tau tak. I just don't like it.
Please laaaaaaa, text me call me today. I really miss your voice and your texts.
I'm sorry for making you angry because I was really impatient to wait for you to reach.
You shouted at me on the phone, I won't blame you for that because I did too.
Sorry for the vulgarities. Sorry for my attitude. Sorry for everything.
But baby, you do know that I really don't wish to lose you, right?
You mean everything to me.

P/S: I had fun drinking coke & teh-o plus ____ with you yesterday. You know, I know. Lol. (:

Labels: upset

hello world,
i am here to update whatever happened TODAY yes.
firstly, i went to harbourfront to meet bf then we slacked jap. walked around at vivo,
then bus-ed to tampines -- his area.
secondly, bf asked his adik apit, to come down and join us slack.
after that, bf went to skate with apit & friend, zam.
i got bitten by him twice tau tak?! sakit bodo. ahahaha.
then i bite him back, harder. HOHOHO.
(pastu cakap sowie. ade je laaa i)
after that slackslackslack,
he sent me to tampines mrt station,
and zooom, we seperated.
a great big big hug with a kiss on my forehead before we went our own ways.
love you mat rep (:
p.s: confidence eh b? heh.
TATA LOVES, pics uploaded soon.
this blog is not dead.
TUMBLR updated. :)
xoxo, deana.

Labels: lovelove alfie

Hello.
I am bored.
Err, Yes I have a BF.
Bye!

LIFE'S A BITCH.
goodbye.
click here.

I admit, I'm envious that you're closer with her now. Okay? I just don't get what's up with me these days. YES, it is your choice who you want to be with.
Senorita, you have been there for me for (god knows how long)! You're the one who really is the special one that is in my life. Remember the times when I kene kepung dengan gangster2? Look.
However my jokes can be, harsh or soft, you know me. My jokes can make a person hate me just like *snap* that! I call you shit, you call me taik. I dont want that to end. I say I hate Demi Lovato, so what kan? YES, different people different perceptions. You pon boleh cakap you hate Lil Wayne (AKA MY BF).
What made me write this long long post is when you said you're going to lose hope on me changing. DON'T! I beg of you, don't. My first few steps of changing is there. I already stopped smoking, I started studying, I never do anything stupid. What else. They are still to come. Please,
I BEG OF YOU. Don't lose hope on your taik.
I'm sorry if I made you angry today, really. My brain really a lil bit sotsot.
I expect a reply.
This is a big big apology "letter".
I AM SORRY.

xoxo, deana.

PS I LOVE MY LIFE NOW. PLS DONT END. HAHAHAHAHA. MWACKS.